The last few months have been filled with tons of questions for me. Our family seems to be going through some kind of transition that I don’t quite understand and it has left me full of uncertainty. It has caused me to become angry and bitter towards my husband and this is not a good place to be.
I am learning right now that even though I may not agree or understand with the decisions that he is making for our family, my job as his wife and daughter of the Lord is to accept those decisions and support him. I can say that doing this is tough. I am struggling to understand it all, yet in the end I know it is for a reason.
I had a major meltdown yesterday and I think that this “season” is what brought this meltdown on. I don’t like having meltdowns like I did yesterday. They leave me feeling less than appealing to my family. SIGH….guess I really need to work on trust in the Lord and trust in my husband. Neither one has a vendetta against my family, and yet, I almost always feel like no one can protect them like me. I know, DUMB!
If you seem to be struggling with accepting some decisions your husband seems to be making for your family right now, here are some things that I have learned over the past few days not to do and a few things that you should do!
~Don’t hold your feelings in. I have a bad habit of holding how I feel in. I don’t share like I should so when a small problem arises, I have all my feelings built up inside of me and then KABOOM, I explode. Don’t do that! Share your concerns with your husband, while they are still fresh. This way, there is not a huge chance of you exploding on him and catching him blindsided.
~Don’t belittle him in front of the kids. If you have something to say to your husband that might cause him pain, don’t do it in front of the kids. This causes them to feel like the arguments are their fault and there is NOTHING worse than having to reassure a child that they had nothing to do with the argument at hand.
~Trust your husband’s judgment regarding your family. I am seriously going to try and take my own advice here. I am speaking to the choir (me) when I write this. Your husband is NOT your enemy. He is not out to hurt your family. His job as head of the house and and leader is exactly that–to lead your family. You may not always agree with how he is doing it, but you need to trust that he knows what he is doing.
~No nagging allowed. During this “season” don’t nag at your husband about the decisions he is making for your family. Voice your concerns and try to get him to explain why but don’t nag. Nagging is one of the #1 reasons men turn their listening ears off.
~Find time to sit and pray and talk. Praying together is the number one way to grow close to one another, so spend some time in prayer together, asking God to help you make good choices together. As a woman, we need to pray for God to give us peace to understand our husbands and to accept the decisions they make for our families. Ask God to change your heart towards your husband–to remove the bitterness and anger that you have allowed to develop over the past few months and to replace it with a renewed sense of love and respect.
Well, now I am off to pray and do the very things that I have shared with you. I need some surgery on my heart and my mindset right now, so I do believe I am going to go spend some time with the Lord and ask Him to give me a new heart full of love and respect. I suggest you do the same if you are struggling with this issue as well.