I have learned a lot over the years being married– almost 18 years. I come from the school of hard knocks, which means that mostly I have had to learn the hard way.

I had one of those lessons this week. One I was not really ready to learn, but God felt it important for me to learn. You see, for the longest time, I have had issues with intimacy.

What I mean by this is just allowing someone to get really close and love me. I grew up in a home where love was conditional and I have always struggled with that. Even after all these years, God is still peeling away those layers.

So it was no surprise to me when God decided it was time to learn a new lesson about intimacy this week. How important it is!

I am going to be honest here…real honest. I brush my husband off a lot (and yes…that is what I am talking about here. We are all grown women and should be able to talk about these things, right? ‘mkay? Good!) . Not because I don’t love him, but because I use the excuse, I just don’t have time.

Are you kidding me?

No time? I have all the time, but I just wasn’t making him an important part of my life.

Other excuses I have used in the past–

~We live in a small house

~The kids will hear

~I have to cook supper

~I’ve got too much work to do

Courtney at Women Living Well always encourages me to meet my man’s needs. I got a firsthand look this past week at how important meeting his needs really are.

God used an experience to smack me back into reality of why His word is SO clear about coming together often.

1 Corinthians 7:5
Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

Nothing bad happened or anything. God just found a way to get my attention to a matter that I had been lacking to pay attention to.

Do you see yourself in the excuses that I shared above? Are you one that tends to tell your husband “not tonight honey”.

Stormie O’Martin has a great plan for getting past that hurdle of not wanting to be intimate with your man. She suggests spending 20 minutes in prettying yourself up. Take a shower in your favorite scent of soap, put on some lotion and something that makes you feel attractive and then purpose in your heart to make your man feel special.

It dawned on me that this had been my problem all along.

I had not purposed in my heart about anything. I was just going through the motions of waking up, being here, and then going to bed.

So I made a conscious decision this past week to purpose in my heart to make my husband feel special–to show him that I enjoy the love he wants to share with me. I will not turn away and I will not say no. I will accept him with open arms.

I cannot tell you the difference this has already made in our relationship–in just a few days. You should try it as well.

Courtney shares this in her video. I encourage you to watch it and take to heart what she shares!

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2 Responses to The Importance of Intimacy in Marriage

  • My writer/speaker friend, Sheila Gregoire, has a book coming out in January – The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex. Knowing Sheila, this is a must-read for Christian ladies. :^)

    • Jennifer Sikora says:

      I know Tina! I sure can’t wait for that book to come out. I plan on getting it. I love Sheila. She has really been an inspiration to me. Thanks for stopping by :)

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