Today I woke up with this feeling of dread in my neck. You know those days when it seems like you have the entire world on your shoulders? Yep — that is exactly what I felt when I opened my eyes this morning.
Not sure why I woke up feeling this way. It could be because of the afternoon yesterday when I almost hit a turkey coming home, the van got a flat on our way home, or it could just be that I have SO much pressure on me these days. Whatever the reason, I feel overwhelmed and burdened down.
Yes I know what the Bible says about giving your burdens to God, and that Jesus makes your burdens lighter, but some days — I really struggle. I won’t lie. It’s hard to share how I feel with others, because I keep all of it locked inside.
But today . . .
Today, I thought I would let you see the real me — raw and emotional. Today, I am not the upbeat woman I normally am. Today, I am struggling with crying at the drop of the hat. Today — I feel burdened. Today, I feel like I can’t breathe.
Over the past couple of months, my anxiety issues have returned with a vengeance. I am not sure why, but they have. When I am anxious like I am today, I cry, I wail, I get mean with those around me. It’s days like today that I just need to be by myself.
I have so many things that I want to write about, but when I open my blog and get the post ready to write, I stall. I stare at the screen and I feel like screaming simply because I hear this small whisper telling me “no one wants to read what you write. No one cares.”
I write things I don’t care about simply because I need SOMETHING to put up here, but it is not fulfilling to me. I want to share stuff that makes a difference. I want to make a difference. ME. God who is in me.
So — that is where I am today.
What about you? How are you feeling today?