Today I woke up with this feeling of dread in my neck. You know those days when it seems like you have the entire world on your shoulders? Yep — that is exactly what I felt when I opened my eyes this morning.

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Not sure why I woke up feeling this way. It could be because of the afternoon yesterday when I almost hit a turkey coming home, the van got a flat on our way home, or it could just be that I have SO much pressure on me these days. Whatever the reason, I feel overwhelmed and burdened down.

Yes I know what the Bible says about giving your burdens to God, and that Jesus makes your burdens lighter, but some days — I really struggle. I won’t lie. It’s hard to share how I feel with others, because I keep all of it locked inside.

But today . . .

Today, I thought I would let you see the real me — raw and emotional. Today, I am not the upbeat woman I normally am. Today, I am struggling with crying at the drop of the hat. Today — I feel burdened. Today, I feel like I can’t breathe.

Over the past couple of months, my anxiety issues have returned with a vengeance. I am not sure why, but they have. When I am anxious like I am today, I cry, I wail, I get mean with those around me. It’s days like today that I just need to be by myself.

I have so many things that I want to write about, but when I open my blog and get the post ready to write, I stall. I stare at the screen and I feel like screaming simply because I hear this small whisper telling me “no one wants to read what you write. No one cares.”

I write things I don’t care about simply because I need SOMETHING to put up here, but it is not fulfilling to me. I want to share stuff that makes a difference. I want to make a difference. ME. God who is in me.

So — that is where I am today.

What about you? How are you feeling today?

 

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2 Responses to Today

  • Danya says:

    Last week was my week to feel like you are. It lasted several days but this week everything is great. Remember that our fearful thoughts are exaggerated and can make the problem worse. I truly believe anxiety is a type of spiritual warfare. The first step I do when I’m feeling this way is to start talking and praying to God. I tell God how I feel and ask God for some of his help quoting scripture with my prayer.
    Also stop what you are doing and try to do something that will relax you. I take a deep breath in imagining Gods love feeling me with peace, then blow out imagining all the stress leaving my body. A lot of times if you could get some fresh air, listen to some Christian music, or better yet sing to the music it will also help. Just know that this feeling will not last forever, and ride the wave until it passes.

    • Jennifer Sikora says:

      Thanks for those tips. I am feeling much better today. I just have to stop fighting when my body needs rest and actually do that.

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